The waiting game plus 10 strange but true facts about me.

Waiting is not my strong point. Patience is a virtue I don't possess. It irks me that many institutions and individuals don't work on my time scale which is NOW!

I get even more worked up when I'm given a time scale that is not adhered to. I personally never miss a deadline and invariably deliver early. When I say I'm going to do something I flipping well do it and I do it flipping well.

So, what am I waiting for, you ask, or maybe you don't but I'm going to tell you anyway. Firstly I'm still waiting for completion of the transfer of equity on my house, a process that was started months ago. I'm waiting for photos to be emailed so that I can start my next commission and time is of the essence on this one. I'm waiting for someone to collect and pay for a printing job I've done for them. I'm waiting for the Man to stop tinkering with his bike so we can go into town. I'm waiting for a divorce. I'm waiting to hear whether I can have a stand at The Portsoy Boat Festival. I'm waiting for a time slot to display my work in the local Wildlife Centre. I'm waiting for many other small things that would make a big difference.

None of this is earth shatteringly important but it's enough to leave me frustrated and tense. I realise that this is a common problem for many people and I know I just have to suck it up and continue to wait but I refuse to do it patiently.

Until these things come to pass I shall try to fill my time constructively.

In the meantime, to make this post more interesting, here are 10 strange but true facts about me:

1. I've waltzed with John Major before he bacame Prime Minister
2. I've kissed Chad Kroeger from Nickelback
3. I've shaken my tassles in public
4. J.J. Burnell, the base guitarist from The Stranglers, once jumped on my belly and made me fart!
5. I've scaled the barbed wire fence of a military establishment in order to stop myself being late home.
6. I've flashed my boobies at an Iron Maiden concert, then watched in fear with my parents as the performance was shown on Top of the Pops the following week.
7. I once had a job as a croupier
8. I've never broken a single bone in my body or been stung by a bee or wasp
9. I once impulse bought a 1979 VW Campervan off Ebay with my credit card
10. My arm span is a full 2 inches longer than my height which makes my ape ratio higher than the average human.

There are more but these are the only ones I can tell you ;-)